Remember, Shaddus, that life is not fair, no less for Gods than for mortality. - Fain, of the Red Masque.

In my time in the Basin, many have asked why I serve the Masque. My bumbling ways and underwhelming demeanor bring me no end of grief at His hands, His followers, and the hands of His enemies to boot. Without thought to my own existence or political standing, I have worked to spread His name among the heathens of New Celest. though they deride and mock me. I've made a fool of myself for His amusement, poured my savings into His coffers, beggared myself to raise His shrines, and more. What do I gain from this? Respect, perhaps? No, not from Lord Fain. Power? Perhaps a smidge of it, but not as much as one might think. Why, then, would I pour myself into this niche in the Basin, this thankless role of crony, lackey and devoted worshipper of a divine who is more likely to backhand me than outwardly show appreciation for my deeds?

Put quite simply, Love. Those of you who are reading this are likely snickering and wondering what sort of tainted boulder I've hit my head on. Let me explain how this came about.

I joined Magnagora not long after the Ninjakari were founded with the assistance of Madame Yith. Following my brethren from the Undervault into the sharp-beamed gaze of the Sun, it was a disorienting experience. I aligned myself with the shadows, finding ways to stay hidden while acclimating myself to the open spaces of the Basin. A child from the coupling of a minor cenobite and one of his slaves, I had little in the way of power or presence in my old home. I soon found myself apprenticing and then being oddly adopted by a local shopkeeper of intelligence and his harpy-voiced wife, a mage of some skill. And yet, I had little in the way of focus, of power or pride in myself. I desired more, though I couldn't explain what it was that I needed.

It was then that I searched for some minor godling to follow. My body and inner worm belonged to Mother Illith, but She was unresponsive at best. I realised that I needed something to follow, someone to -serve-. I wasn't sure why, really. I just had this burning need for approval and acceptance, as well as perhaps a way to prove myself. My first thought was to serve the one they called Legion, as His blatant search for power and desire to devour was second only to the Hidden Empress' Herself. I found His followers lacking in power in the city, and looked towards that of the Red Masque.

My research into Fain was lengthy, and much of it happened even after I joined His ranks. The more I read of Him and His past, the more I came to respect Him and desire to serve His will. As I mentioned earlier, a love developed; obviously not the sort of love of a man for a woman or another man, but something of a mixture of the love of a child for his father, and the love of a squire for his feudal Lord. As I read more and more about how He was treated and cast into the Void, my face would contort in rage at the insolence of Meridian and His lackeys. How dare they throw down someone who worked so fervently towards saving them from the Soulless who devoured their brethren daily? Did they not know of the sacrifices a leader must endure to save those he protects? Was it simply a grab for power, and a misguided jaunt for control?

Fain worked tirelessly to defend the Elders from the Soulless. As a leader of the First Circle, He held His duty to His people sacrosanct. He knew that every choice He made, every order He gave to His brothers and sisters had to be carefully thought out lest some monstrous beast rend His loved ones limb from essence-filled limb. He fell in love with a silver-eyed maiden, and the heat of their passion burned stronger than that of Brother Sun. For Him, She was yet another reason to struggle against those who would suck the essence from the Elder's divine bodies. He know that one misstep, a simple miscalculation could send Lisaera screaming into the maw of a Handmaiden of Magnora. The stress, I'm sure, would have been unbearable to a lesser being. But not Fain.

And then... an epiphany. It was discovered that the essence of the very Soulless He had been fighting could grant Him strength; perhaps enough strength to stand toe-to-toe with those who wished to devour the ones He loved. It could grant Him the power to ensure that Lisaera was safe, grant Him the wisdom to find better tactics to beat back the inevitable teeth of his foes. As an illithoid, this appealed to me. The taking of a foe's life force and using it to bolster our own strength was something we ourselves practiced in the Undervault, and this drew me even more to Him. Furthermore, the fact that this leader, this general of generals was willing to do what was required in order to protect those less powerful showed Him to be a being of both integrity and mental fortitude. Critical thinking skills, a quick mind and the ability to ascertain tactics on the fly were all signs of a good leader, and I found myself falling more and more in need to work for this Elder as I read His stories and meditated on His will.

It happened that with all things of importance, a sacrifice was needed. A soulless being of minor power wished to parlay with some of the Elders, allowing Them to draw the very soulless essence from it in return for some essence of their own. Fain, being a leader of puissant skill, realised quite frankly that not all of the Elders would survive, and those of lesser importance would need to be sacrificed to give Him and His the power to defend the rest. Those of a weak will resisted, which is completely understandable of them, for what weak person would sacrifice themselves for the good of those around them? They did not have His foresight, His indomitable will and strength of character, and did not understand that They should need to give up their being to protect the ones they loved... but Fain understood. Fain knew what was required, and He worked to gain the power He needed to defend those who were weaker.

As I read on, I realised that this was much like Magnagora of modern times. The serfs and pariahs were offal in the streets, to be disregarded and trod upon unless they were worthy of better. Those who had the strength of will and conviction would rise up from the gutters, and become worthy of respect and dignity. Using the bodies of those below them, such a person would climb the social ladder in Magnagora, stepping upon the necks of the less-worthy and less-powerful. Sacrificing those of an unworthy nature, those who had proven themselves would rise in stature due to inner strength and become defenders of the less fortunate themselves.

But as is common with the sheep among us, there were those among the Elders who did not understand the idea of sacrifice, and the way things should be. They felt that the weak should be coddled, and that the Elders were all equal. I couldn't help but laugh at this concept. Those who would sit around weaving circlets of flowers and painting the skies pink would consider themselves as important as the leaders and warriors of the first and second circles? Those that sit and chatter idly considered themselves equals to those who wobbled wearily home after long days of battle with the gnashing maws of the Soulless? And there was one who saw an opportunity to seize power and take what was not His.

Meridian: Lord of Thieves, Betrayer of Kin, Jealous One. Weak of convictions, Meridian was not strong enough to do what was required to lead the Elders, and He knew it. A coward and a braggart, He desired the respect Fain received and deserved, but without the work that lead to it. And so He plotted, sending spies after Fain to learn the source of His newly found power. Affecting an act of both arrogance and self-righteous importance, Meridian the Ursurper whispered his venom in the ears of weaker kin, inciting anger and jealousy in those who stupidly saw Fain as lording Himself over them. And unsurprisingly, it worked. Betrayed by Lisaera, Fain was bound and brought before a tribunal, if you would call it that.

Imagine, if you will, the idea of explaining yourself to those you worked to protect. While they frolic across the grass, you're throwing yourself in front of any danger pointed their way, and these peons have the AUDACITY to question you? The things you've sacrificed and done for these fools, and they want to punish you for it? Punish you for doing what you -had- to do to protect them? Question your judgement, when it was good enough before this time? Fain knew what Meridian was grasping for, and He knew that Meridian would succeed. It burned Him up inside to realise that no matter how hard He struggled to defend His loved ones, Meridian would tear apart everything Fain had worked so hard for... and for what? Some puny, whiny elders who didn't deserve to live, and were too weak to understand that some had to die, that others would go on? Meridian lacked that spark which defined a true leader from someone who merely wanted to bask in power, and both Elders knew it. Lisaera, being the wanton wench that She was, understood this as well, but was ready to switch Her affections to someone more easily controlled. She set her eyes on a muscle-bound fool of the Seventh Circle, and this broke something inside of Fain to see Her devotion to Him so easily changed. The loyalty He had shown to those around him was being punished, and tenfold from the woman He had loved and lived His life to defend. I could understand His rage in present day, hating those who had worked to undo what He had worked so hard for. The essence He had shed in defense of these mewling wretches, and they would dare to cast aspersions upon His actions?

Revenge, they say, is a dish best served cold. Is there another in the Basin who deserves it more than Fain? Betrayed by those He protected, cast aside by His lover when it was prudent for Her to do so, Fain floated in the void for eons with nothing to console Him but His rage and need for revenge against those who would belittle His efforts. Thousands more died after He and His allies were thrown into the Void... and for what? A little bit of power? A four-legged freak of a lover? Some self-righteous feeling of "right" and "wrong"?

It's hard to say this, and I'd never say it in earshot of my Lord, but.. I pity Him. I can understand how He is the way He is, and why He treats others the way He does. After all that time of working for others and seeking to defend the less powerful, and they do this to him? Quite frankly, something snapped within Him out in the Void. There are some who say the best and brightest often become the darkest, and this is shown quite easily in the changing from angel to demon upon Nil, as well as the transformation of the Holy Emanations into the Demon Lords. So too has my Lord changed from His bright, lordly demeanor ages ago into an angry, vengeful, spiteful and twisted elder god in the present age.

And He shall have His revenge upon those who have wronged Him in the past, and upon those who spite Him still.