Greetings, Celest! Your front-running candidate and citizen in exile
Yrael is here once more with another campaign post. Now that the
election has officially started, I feel the need to clarify my policies
on a wide range of issues that affect the city of New Celest and those
that could affect it in the future, so that I may show myself as the
best candidate for something other than my pretty face. The main issues
affecting Celest today are our relationships with other organizations in
the Basin, the Divine themselves and certain citizens who may be
classified as.. undesirable. Look out for my policy on villages sworn to
us in the near future.

To begin, there are only two major organizations that we should concern
ourselves with. The Commune of Glomdoring is too small, too weak (big
cuddles for everyone!) and ruled by a pair of utterly insane midgets who
spend more time scratching themselves than attending to matters of
state, so it doesn't count. The Serenwilde itself has traditionally
dealt with us from a position of power, to the point that the
Even-Bladed kneels to the Silver Goddess. Does this seem like an
acceptable state of affairs? I bloody well thought not. Why should we
allow their poncy Elfen scum to infest OUR city to giggle and snuggle,
their furrikin to shed over OUR furniture and their faelings to steal
OUR squid and cats for rites both obscene and sexual? That's right. We
shouldn't. Our city is not for snuggles. Our furniture is not for
walking rugs. Our cats and squid are for our own.. purposes. My policy
on the Serenwilde can be summed up in two words: Rack off. Some of you
may be shocked. "Oh, Yrael!" you say. "But how will we defend ourselves
from the predations of Magnagora!" you say. I will, perhaps, take a
phrase from the "Divine Wrath", Murphy Carthan. "Dry your tears and
harden the bloody Nil up, princess". Despite the fact that I'm the one
running for Princess here. I even have my gown picked out. Ahem. With a
rigorous regime of Furrikin skinning, combat training, Elfen torture and
a game I like to call "Sell the Faelings in a free market place for
Magnagorans to devour after kicking them from person to person for an
hour" we can turn Celest into a power to be feared again. As well as
boosting trade and tourism revenue for the city. After all, who wouldn't
want a genuine furrikini rug? So very soft. Elfen torture? Tourist
attraction! And we all know what Magnagorans like to do with Faelings. I
certainly know what I like doing with Faelings. "But Yrael!" you say.
"That goes against the teachings of the Supernals!" you cry. No it
doesn't. Where did Lady Raziela say anything about loving those from
Serenwilde? She didn't. Would t

Magnagora. Ah, yes, I see I have your attention now. One simple way to
better our dealings with them. LEARN TO DIFFERENTIATE AN ALLHEALE VIAL
FROM YOUR BOTTOM. Is that so VERY difficult? The only people within the
city who can do that now are Geb, Amaru, Malicia, Elaria, and perhaps
Yurika. But barely. Now. If you learn how to cure afflictions, and stick
the pointy/burny parts of your weapons/magic into the fleshy parts of
the Magnagorans, you might have a chance without the forest demanding
snuggles and divine groveling for each battle they win for you! Is that
so VERY hard? Even a lynch mob! Look what happens when I come to call!
Assuming your Goddess doesn't rouse herself from her degenerate
entertainments to stop my beautiful singing, or my despoiling of the
silver cats, what did you do? That's right. You formed a lynch mob,
complete with staves instead of pitchforks and archangels instead of
torches and reduced each and every one of my deviant components into
nothingness. Is it so very hard to do that against Magnagorans? Singular
OR otherwise? For Nil's sakes, the lot of you outnumber Magnagora 5:1!
Ahem. I seem to have become side tracked. At any rate. Under MY terrible
reign of horror and embezzlement, basic combat training will be
something each citizen WILL learn, or they WILL be given to the
forestals for a month.

The Divine: The Silver Maiden (among other things that I call Her, but
will not at this point lest this message catches fire and I be
introduced to the Furrikini farmers once more.) is not your lady and
mistress. Present Her with the customary respect due to a Divine (or a
stiff finger, depending on your personal degree of fatalism) and get
back to what you were doing. We must be lead away from Her, and perhaps
the Even-Bladed. Celest is a city of the Light, not a servant of a
babbling, heavily armed, divine-powered child. The Lord Lacostian and
the Lady Isune are, perhaps, the only Gods worthy of the honor of
leading such a city. Lacostian is a studious, careful Divine, one worthy
of respect and the occasional offering, one who will not let His
personal notions of how the Light should be spread affect the city. The
Lady Isune is the light personified - happy, loving, amusing and
obviously fond of cheesecake and despising darkness. What more could we
possibly need? The Even-Bladed has inherited Hajamin's prejudices and
love of ill-considered action. She MUST be removed for the continued
growth of Celest.

Now. The undesirables. I am aware this could include me - but I'm your
PRINCESS, and I fulfill none of the following conditions. All those who
have the urge to copulate within the city of the light must be
extinguished. All those who snuggle and cuddles in public places must be
extinguished. All the La'Saet's must be extinguished. I do not mean
removed from the city - I mean strung up around the Pool of Stars to
have their miserable lives extinguished and a watch set on the Portal of
Fates to re-extinguish them as they emerge. Mindless physical affection
IS NOT A BLOODY FACET OF THE LIGHT. Raziela might preach love, but would
you and your second cousin, thrice removed, wriggle around on the floor
in front of Her? No. I thought not. The city of the Light is NOT TO BE
DEFILED. The new building and certain areas already smell as if a
Geomancer has allowed putrid gases to seep from the Earth.

Look for my next campaign post.

Penned by my hand on the 4th of Estar, in the year 149 CE.