|Title||Dear Father: Finding Myself in Slumber|
|Post Date (Visible)||February 2021|
"Can you feel it? There's something different and I am not sure what it is.
There is something stirring beneath the ground. The wind has changed and the want for bloodshed is diminishing. Is this complacency? I have no urge to awaken and my only purpose? My family... and even them I have forsaken. The longer I go without honing my skills, without trying to reaffirm who I am.. is only the beginning, Father.
You know better than I how fickle the mortal mind can be. Allegiances change and feelings alter. This is the constant, no? The basis for every living creature is that things will eventually change. Things have changed for You and for the Goddess of the Summer Song. I have seen Your memories and felt Your pain through Your priestess and those shards of the past that fuel You.
And things are changing for me. I can feel it.
It starts with the lethargy and the thought of doing nothing during the slim times I decide to leave my bed - to venture forth from my mother's home and into the web that is the Wyrd. I cannot ask for You to turn Your attention back to the First World for Your work is important and as Your child.. I know better than to detract from the predatory hunt that You embark on.
I do not expect affirmation or Your approval. I do not need those to stay and fight in Your name and that of Your sibling, the Lady Viravain. To know that You are there and that You are listening... to know that not everything is lost in Your absence.. All I ask for is a glimmer of hope.
Yes. We are the Forest of No Mercy. F'ai Glomdoring.
And yet, that concept can be hard to grasp. Many have different opinions and many have chosen to ignore what this means. What does it mean to You? Do we forego the entire concept of compassion and forgiveness? Is it considered weak? Do we only ignore those two ideals when it suits us and furthers the goal of the Glomdoring?
Does it even matter? Nothing matters but Glomdoring, that much is true.
Perhaps now is the time that I let the Wyrd encompass me - to have it change who I am. I cannot be Your spider if I have these convictions of whom to trap within my web and whom to let pass unharmed. I value Discipline and Loyalty above all else, but if I cannot heed the warnings they bring? What use am I to You and Your Fangs?
Perhaps sleep is what I need. A good rest to mull upon Your teachings and the Wyrd...