Hiyas,

In conducting my Janitorial Duties, I've been in several areas,
including the pretty forest plane, and beyond. I have noticed something
disturbing to me little self, and I would like to offer my services.

I see a lot of ye Wiccan's straddling ye special brooms, and flying thru
the air. But I never see ye properly use the brooms. My auntie was a
great and powerful Moon servant, and she would both fly thru the air,
but only after she would use dat broom to sweep up after me and me bros
and cousins. (She also made a mean sparkleberry pie seasonsed with
spices and just a hint of cactus weed to make the pie look like it was
smiling back and ye...but I digress).

Anyway, since I've not seen ye know the basic sweeping techniques, I
want to offer my services. I would like any who wish to learn some of
these basic techniques to come meet me. Both Moon and Night covens are
invited. I don't care about ye beliefs or values, both of ye need to
know how to properly wield a broom, and I'd be glad to show ye.

Since I know tings be tense between ye two camps, I want to show you how
to do it at the Fulcrux, under Avenchea. That is probably the one area
where no fighting is allowed. And we can honor our boyos the gods by
cleaning up their most holy place.

Since the Viscanti noble houses keep me so busy I can never be in de
basin all the time, I'd like to do tis on the 22nd of Tzarin, year 124.

Now, I know what ye boyos be tinkin'. This is some kind of Magnagorian
trick. Well, I can't speak for the rest of me boyos, but I certainly
don't care about whatever war ye be having. I just sweep. If ye are
really concerned, maybe ye can either send a few representitives who can
train the rest of ye, or perhaps ye can get the gods to block the
archways on Faethorn or the like while dis is going on. I will only need
1 or 2 lusternian days or so to teach ye the basics. Maybe after dat is
done, ye can talk about ye problems and come to some agreement, but
dat's not me area.

Anybody else who wants to come and watch, feel free. But I don't want
any fighting or the like, and don't ye dare heckle me neither. Hell, ye
all could learn to be a little neater. I was watching one of de battles
and none of ye cleaned up any of ye blood, guts, entrails, or hair/fur.

Remember, a clean commune or city is a happy commune or city.

See ye then!

Penned by my hand on the 5th of Urlachmar, in the year 124 CE.