Many of you know me, yet some do not. Many know me as the Merian whom
killed a Celestine as his first betrayal of the Light, and was removed
from New Celest. Indeed, I did kill Elaria, for her most disgusting
attitude on the city aether towards the Elder God Lord Lacostian, and it
was He I chose to follow. I have since wandered these lands, cityless,
and often times friendless.

I still stand without a city. Yet, that is of little importance. I have
remained ever faithful to my Lord, even when He dissappeared from these
realms for years, with no sign of Him. Those that have often spoke of
Him remained silent, Icelus the White Panther rarely, if ever, seen.
Many in His order began to lose heart, myself among them, afraid that He
would not return, and what His unnanounced absence meant. I faultered,
yet I stood up again, and all within the order struggled onwards,
forever pushing until the day we knew Our Lord would return.

Only a few days ago from the writing of this, we were given hope. I
rested at my Lord's fulcrux, where Icelus was found. My Lord has gifted
His followers from time to time with visions, often delivered through
this faithful panther. These visions have aided His faithful before. I
was given four such visions, one of Him, another of what He was doing.
So the mystery of the fate of the dissapearing Elder God was solved; at
least so far as that He still lived.

I will not go into great detail as to what those visions were, or what
He was doing. One of the things I have come to view as a faithful
follower of Lord Lacostian spoke to us, there, at that fulcrux. They
told us, His faithful, that He would return upon finding the object of
his searches, if He found it. Needlessly said, I was heart broken. My
Lord had been absent from the realms for near four years, and these
visions and His voice that accompanied them rang deep within me, I had
grown soon to be found false hope that My Lord had returned to us,
finally.


I do not deny I despaired. My Lord, the one thing I have truly loved in
this Basin without condition, was still to be gone from us. These
incarnations of mist and fog told me not to feel abandoned. I asked them
how could I not? My Lord has been gone for some time, with no word for
near three years, which was simply a message left by Him saying "I have
returned", followed by nearly another year's worth of silence.

Now, Basin, that is simply background. Here is where my point has come
to life. Many whom know me intimately know I would sacrifice anything
for my Lord. He was more to me than life itself. For those whom have
crossed the teachings of Lacostian, you will know that His first
teaching is that of Temperance. Temperance is the ability to mix two
poles to create such an etheric end that it is undeniably beautiful;
either beautiful in the physical sense, as mixing Fire and Water to
create such an undeniably mesmerizing violet, or a more metaphysical
sense.

I know I have wronged many people. I have slaughtered Fae, and am known
thusly as the Fae Slayer. I have killed Celestians, and will never again
walk the streets of New Celest without being hounded by guards and
citizens to my very death. I have helped raise the Crow, slipping into
the Seren and killing deer. I have helped taint the Fae, as small as my
part was. I have even kidnapped two people, with the most amusing, if
not frustrating, of results.

I was cast out of my Lord's order, for not showing "Temperance". I ask
you, Basin, how can I be accused of not showing Temperance, when I have
abstained from the slaughter of Order Members. My Lord asked us not to
kill each other. Even as a Celestine, I refused to kill Bricriu, for I
loved her, and still love her, as a sister. Even now, when New Celest
will ever be my enemy, I have halted several attacks on order members I
have rarely gotten along with. If Acrune and Mistie knew the number of
times three Nihilists and I were flying above them, and I argueing not
to attack them, maybe things would be different. Maybe not.

Yet it was Ialie whom shed the blood of an order member, in defense of
the Ethereal. It was Elaeni whom said to me we deserved the right to act
as spoiled children in the absence of Our Lord. It was Ialie and Acrune
and Dysolis whom threatened me over the order aether, for the release of
Etanru and Lyren. It was Ialie whom so many times argued that I was a
blind fool. It was Elaeni whom fled New Celest, to Magnagora.

Yet I am the one cast out, for I am untemperant. I, in the end, have
killed those whom have disrespected my Lord, and ever been loyal. I was
the one whom freed His tome from stasis. I was the one whom was gifted
the visions and the answers.

And I am cast out.

Penned by my hand on the 2nd of Avechary, in the year 108 CE.