Ladies, Gentlemen, Neither, and Both!

I write to you today in regards to the squirrely plague that has descended upon the basin - While they may seem little more than innocuous rodents, one cannot help to suspect that their true purpose is dire indeed. Are they trained to eat your stocks of nuts? Pilfer your stockrooms? Replace your firstborn children with horrific squirrely abominations?

I do not know, and I do not care to find out. And so I call upon the people of the basin to deal with this threat in the only sensible manner.

Crafting! Fashion these terrible rodents into sandwiches, stews, scarves, or stools! The details matter little, as long as the finished product uses squirrels and showcases the unique traits of those recently released upon the basin.

For each person who shows me a new squirrel design, I will pay you five credits for your service to the basin.

Penned by my hand on the 14th of Kiani, in the year 646 CE.