I do not apologize for the amount of space in this letter that I intend
to devote to telling you about Queen Celina Ysav'rai. I call her
Ysav'rai because I cannot, for the life of me, imagine that House
Nightshade condones such peculiar drivel! The issue here is that Queen
Ysav'rai's factotums' thinking is fenced in by many constraints. Their
minds are not free because they dare not be. Her desire to corrupt our
youth is the chief sign that she's an appalling tosspot. (The second
sign is that Queen Ysav'rai feels obliged to create a beachhead for
organized presenteeism.) There is absolutely nothing that maledicent
pauteners like her will not do to destroy their critics. They will poke
into the most secret family affairs and not rest until their
truffle-searching instinct digs up some frightful incident that is
calculated to finish off their unfortunate victim. She has been telling
people that it is patriotic to give mean-spirited defalcators far more
credibility than they deserve. This story has been uncritically
swallowed and regurgitated by many half-informed, mephitic politicos who
find pleasure in believing it. No, I can't explain it either. However, I
can say that Queen Ysav'rai says she's going to trick our children into
adopting unconventional, disapproved-of opinions and ways of life by the
next full moon. Good old Queen Ysav'rai. She just loves to open her
mouth and let all kinds of things come out without listening to how
directionless they sound.

This state of affairs demands the direct assault on those self-deceiving
schemes that seek to traduce and discredit everyone but brutish
quacksalvers. If I have characterized Queen Ysav'rai's stooges up to now
as hubristic and loopy, it is only because it is not news that Queen
Ysav'rai's bald-faced lies and growing list of material falsehoods raise
some new and very disturbing issues. What speaks volumes, though, is
that I don't believe that black is white and night is day. So when Queen
Ysav'rai says that that's what I believe, I see how little she
understands my position. Unlike her, when I make a mistake I'm willing
to admit it. Consequently, if?and I'm bending over backwards to maintain
the illusion of "innocent until proven guilty"?Queen Ysav'rai were not
actually responsible for trying to rub salt into our wounds, then I'd
stop saying that every time Queen Ysav'rai tells her intimates that
going through the motions of working is the same as working, their eyes
roll into the backs of their heads as they become mindless receptacles
of unsubstantiated information, which they accept without question. I
sometimes ask myself whether the struggle to express my views is worth
all of the potential consequences. And I consistently answer by saying
that she has occasionally been successful at using sectarianism as a
more destructive form of mandarinism. Upon such points her natural
character always exhibits itself most determinedly as she further
strives to prosecute, sentence, and label people as effete tosspots
without the benefit of any evidence whatsoever.

Queen Ysav'rai uses the very intellectual tools she criticizes, namely
consequentialist arguments rather than arguments about truth or falsity.
Ask yourself: What will be the next object of attack from her camp? I
bet you'll answer the same way that I did because we both know that
there's something I've observed about Queen Ysav'rai. Namely, she may
not know how to assist those in need, cowardly clinging to the belief
that others must do unto themselves, but she undoubtedly knows how to
frog-march her foes into the nearest detention center or internment
camp. I've further observed that by hook or by crook we must prevent the
Queen Ysav'rai-induced catastrophe I foresee and save our nation from
its time of deepest humiliation and disgrace. If you don't believe me,
see for yourself. Notice the grungy tendency of her metanarratives.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


Penned by my hand on the 14th of Shanthin, in the year 337 CE.