If I had a spare moment, I might actually read this rounds long and
windy rubbish. However, spare time is a short commodity in my life. I
will say a few things, however.

Firstly, I thought your purpose in writing it was to irritate and waste
space and gold.

Secondly, I must resort to insults. One has to wonder why your mother
did not forsee the result of letting you live, and drown you at birth.

Or perhaps she did, and that is the problem?

Hush, child. You just give us more cause to mock you city folk.

Bau.

Penned by my hand on the 18th of Klangiary, in the year 102 CE.