Me too.. but I'm not moving for a few weeks.. everything just has to go now because I don't have any other way of moving it.

Not everyone sucks. I know quite a lot of people who don't. It's just unfortunate for me to have met a liar.

The state is refusing unemployment to my father, so we may not be able to keep a roof over our heads.

Oh, and my mother is slowly going insane, and she almost walked out...at this point I'm not sure I WANT her to stay...

I've failed natural selection a second time.

Buuuuh?!

With no warning or indication whatsoever, a CD case dropped from the shelf above my laptop and blew the 'alt' key off of it. I'm trying to figure it out, but it's not working; so far I've only made it worse.

Good luck. You'll be in my thoughts.

My birthday was spent being dehydrated and unable to sleep because of the massive headache! Not to mention the crap I have to put up with in-game! Hurray! What a fantastic birthday this has been.

I can't complain too much. Fiance bought me a Wii.

Oh...I'll just keep this Wii for myself, then.

Grapefruit is most disagreeable.

I don't know what the heck a certain someone has that I don't have, other than the fact that he/she is around 24/7. I'm perfectly capable of doing the same work he/she does in-game, I'm just not able to be around as often. Does that mean I'll never get anywhere?

I'm really tired of seeing some people get handed power on a silver platter. I work my butt off in-game, and I get very little for it. Granted, I'm a secretary and CR5 and Power Minister. I just keep feeling like I'm overlooked. I do work hard and I try to please everyone (despite knowing that I can't), and yet I'm always shoved aside for someone "better." What the heck am I doing wrong?? Why can't I be important for once?

Is it because I'm not OOC friends with all the higher-ups in Magnagora?? Because that's not freaking fair. If that's the case, perhaps I should just quit while I'm ahead. I'm not going to kiss a bunch of arses OOC to get what I want in-game. That isn't right AT ALL.

You don't make the right friends and you don't go out and seize the day. Number one is more important than number two. But you need to do number two to take advantage of number one.

Also, grapefruit was disagreeable.

How the heck am I supposed to make the right friends though?? I feel like none of the "right" people want anything to do with me. Everytime I try to talk or be friendly with them, I feel like I'm just brushed off.

And how exactly am I supposed to "seize the day?"

I always offer my help to everyone, I always do my best to assist with any request made of me.

The social dynamics of human beings on a micro scale are impossible to fully explain. It's difficult to say why people like, dislike, or are indifferent to other people; if there's anything to be said at all, it's that you're dealing with an indecipherable potpourri of vague expectations, past experiences and feelings that defy useful classification.

It is also true that Lusternia tends far more towards cronyism than meritocracy (unless the merit in question is skill at PK). I'm too ignorant of sociology to explain why, but it would take some very convincing arguments to persuade me otherwise, because it's plainly seen in-game. Cronyism serves a useful purpose in human social dynamics, but is hurtful to those who aren't deemed worthy of inclusion.

Unfortunately, I doubt that anyone can tell you why you're being marginalized or what you can do change your fortunes, because 99.9% of people (myself included) don't have a clue. I will suggest that if (after a period of reflection) you feel trapped in an intolerable situation, you should try a change of venue.

Changing venue would require a drastic alteration of my character (or the return of Ackleberry). He's very loyal to Magnagora, even moreso to Morgfyre, and so moving is almost completely out of the question. The only way he'd move is if he could continue to stay in Morgfyre's order, which is highly unlikely to be allowed, what with affinity and all (though how some people haven't been removed yet, I'll never know).

I don't have any PK ability, but I feel that I'm good with diplomatic and secretarial type work. I'd like to think I have strong communication and language skills that would allow me to be in those sorts of positions. Sadly, the opportunity for me to grab them never seems to arise, and because I have less confidence than most people, and because I'm not a part of the "in" crowd, any chance I might have to grab said positions and opportunities would most likely be met with severe disappointment (and has been in the past).

Once people have developed a concrete perception of you and/or your place in the social pecking order, it is often incredibly difficult to change that perception. People mentally pigeonhole practically everything, including (perhaps especially) other human beings. Being at a certain place at a certain time in your life can have a profound effect on these perceptions, too. I was highly unpopular at one high school as a teenager, yet became quite popular in some circles when I transferred to a different school for my junior and senior years. (I nevertheless look back on high school with profound distaste.)

Additionally, some people are naturally charismatic, a trait that has always been impossible to quantify for those who are less charismatic. Charismatic persons can sense what other people want to hear, intuit how best to motivate individuals (in the case of leaders), and even learn to psychologically manipulate others into doing what they want. Putting it in such trite terms does a disservice to the full spectrum of human charisma and leadership, but again, it's a very difficult thing to classify.

My own mother, in fact, was unpopular and unremarked in high school (though not unattractive by any means). These days, though, she immediately commands the full attention of any room she enters simply by being there, and not even I can stand toe to toe with her in an argument. What does this mean? I don't have a damned clue.

As I mentioned earlier, offering truly useful explanations and advice is beyond most people's ability to deliver, mine included. So I hope some of these textual gymnastics (Pectus, don't turn that into something perverted) help you at least a little bit, somehow.

Thank you. I know nobody can really change what I'm going through except for me. I just wish I knew how to change it. I appreciate your responses though and your willingness at least to provide some sort of explanation and empathy for what I'm experiencing - though I'm not certain empathy was your goal, it at least came off that way to me.

Also, on an unrelated note, are the forums being really slow for anyone else?

Felicia has already adequately handled the textural gymnastics part, and I'm kind of lazy, so here's my contribution:

I've been down this path before and I know how you feel. I definitely agree with Felicia's 'change of venue' statement. There are groups of people you can't please or at least get the respect/approval/recognition you feel you've earned no matter how you try to reach out to them. When that happens, it's best to stop trying hard because others will most likely see your efforts as silly antics. Don't stop being yourself, though, there's definitely no reason for you to, because, someone or many someones will eventually see your worth/efforts and appreciate you for it - these are the people you can reach out to as these are the people who will most likely embrace you for who you are.

Also, learn to appreciate and be happy with the things you do/you've done/you're planning to do. There are some things we need to give ourselves. Who knows, if you start appreciating what you do, you'll realize you don't need the approval/recognition you desire from others as much as you thought you did in the past. Maybe, once you do things without the wish to please others at the forefront of your mind, others will start recognizing you. It may not be what you had in mind or it may not be the people you had in mind, but it's still a good thing!

Don't let things like this bring you down. Try to stretch your patience as much as possible when you feel compelled to go elsewhere, and only go elsewhere when your patience can't be stretched any further. Always, always, be happy!

The Talnaras love you, come be with us instead of silly Glom! /forum RP

I love them...somewhere in my shadowy, erratic, Night loving, wyrd preaching heart! Anyway, Siam's still Talnara, sooo....