This log requires a little background in order to make sense.

My character Laelia is currently struggling with her relations to both her mother Nymerya and her fiance. She defied the former very blatantly, complete with veiled and not-so-veiled threats, in order to elope with the latter - who is fond of her, but not quite fond enough to discard the lover's tokens from a not-so-former love interest that political reasons prevent him from acknowledging. Nymerya has been coldly angry and refusing to acknowledge Laelia's existence ever since the incident, and she's beginning to wonder if it was worth it.

In a rather bleak mood, she finds a friend's daughter to cut her up a bit for catharsis (because apparently that's what Nifilhema followers do in their free time!) Unfortunately, it goes a liiiiittle bit unexpectedly...

Library of the Dark Fates.
The stench of death surrounds a sanguine steel rocking chair. Merian scales of
sapphire hues undulate over the sinous chaise lounge couch that rests here on
mahogany fins. Pushed against the wall, a large bookshelf stands ready to hold
various literature. Veritus n'Rotri stands here with a slight hunch. A painting
of A Triptych of Our Lady of the Amaranth is proudly exhibited on a nearby wall.
Sister Bethany d'Murani is here. You may use the BOOKSHELF commands here.
You see exits leading up and down (closed door).

Bethany performs a graceful curtsey.

You say to Bethany, "I require your aid in a matter."

Sister Bethany d'Murani says, "What can I help with?"

You say, "I find myself in mood of rare darkness and despair, and would submit
myself to the Lady, and offer to her my pain."

A little drily, you say, "Unfortunately, it seems that I require some help."

Sister Bethany d'Murani says to you, "How can I help?"

You give a dagger of reincarnation to Sister Bethany d'Murani.

You crease your brow in a frown.

You say, "Hmm, perhaps that is not suitable."

You say, "Too blunt."

With a small sigh, you say, "I cannot find a suitable dagger. Perhaps your
mother would have one."

Bethany nods her head emphatically.

Bethany leaves to the up.



Beneath the Tower of the Dark Fates.
Swirling eddies of chaotic, dancing ether glisten like stars from a shield
shrine of Morgfyre nearby. A gas lamp casts pale, ghostly light across the
streets from atop a tall, ornately gilded iron post. A statue of Jhagreer
d'Vanecu stands here, memorializing his noble spirit. Smoke curling from her
nostrils, a coal black nightmare paws impatiently at the grey clouds roiling
beneath her hooves. Lord Silvanus d'Murani is here, shrouded. He wields a
damning symbol of domination in his left hand and a massive astral shield in his
right. Sister Bethany d'Murani is here. Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess
of the Queen is here, shrouded. She wields a bloody symbol of pain in her left
hand and a ritualistic Ouroborian dagger in her right.
You see exits leading northeast, southeast, and down.

Sister Bethany d'Murani says, "But I do not have a dagger suitable for it."

You perform a graceful curtsey.

Lavinya looks about herself, rubbing her chin thoughtfully.

Sister Bethany d'Murani says to Lavinya, "Would you have one?"

Lavinya waves about a ritualistic Ouroborian dagger energetically.

Sister Bethany d'Murani says, "That would be perfect."

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen says, "An offering to the
Queen, you say?"

Lavinya gives you the once-over, eyeing you suspiciously.

You say to Lavinya, "An offering to the Lady, and also..."

Lavinya smiles softly at you.

Quietly, you say, "Something I need to do, I think, or else go mad."

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen says, "I think I understand.
"

You say, "There is a certain altar in the tower. Shall we go there?"

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen says, "There is
purification in pain."

You say, "We are all Nihilists here, after all."

Lavinya nods her head emphatically.

Bethany nods her head emphatically.



Altar of sacrifice.
Smoke curling from her nostrils, a coal black nightmare paws impatiently at the
grey clouds roiling beneath her hooves.
You see a single exit leading north (open door).

The rowdy notes of a drinking song, faint at first, then rising to the
undisputed intensity of a Dwarf On A Mission, herald the arrival of Ironbeard
the Magnanimous who casts his beam of a smile about himself as he arrives.
Laughing deeply, Ironbeard the Magnanimous proclaims, "Happy Anniversary,
Laelia!"
Ironbeard the Magnanimous just gave you a panorama-wrapped present!

Drily, you say, "How... very appropriate."

With a sudden look of concentration, Ironbeard the Magnanimous smiles a crooked
smile, rubs his ample stomach, and fades to nothingness, followed by the sound
of a distant belch.

With long-suffering patience, you say, "As I was saying."

You say to Bethany, "This is your test as much as my offering, I think. I will
not tell you what to do - that would be beside the point. You must use your own
inspiration, and I shall endure."

You say, "Now, let me prepare."

Sister Bethany d'Murani says to you, "Of course."

You have emoted: Laelia strips off her robes, until she is clad only in a white
chemise, simple and spotless.



She is a fiendish master viscanti and is of middling height, with a slender
frame and upright bearing. She is very fair for one of her race, with skin a
shade of dusty rose so light as to be almost a warm ivory, further heightened by
a tasteful dusting of crushed pearl that makes her seem paler and more delicate
still. Dark golden hair falls about her shoulders in tight ringlets, artful and
meticulously neat. Narrow horns gilded with rose gold spring from her temples,
curling back behind her ears and nestling close to her head. Her face is
surprisingly gentle, with round, dimpled cheeks and a full mouth that is
slightly too wide for beauty. Her large eyes are a soft amber in hue, set
beneath arching golden brows. She is wearing a light blue coral ring, a simple
ring of bloodstone, a twisting ring of amethyst, a gleaming silver lorgnette
necklace, a twisted ring of garnet and black iron, a turquoise brocade pouch
printed with plum flowers, an exquisite onyx and opal bracelet, a beryl sunshine
bracelet, pearl-buttoned gloves of soft ivory kidskin, a silken chemise of snowy
white and a spiked cilice belt.

You have emoted: Laelia begins to remove her other things.

You remove an exquisite onyx and opal bracelet.

You remove a beryl sunshine bracelet.

You remove a turquoise brocade pouch printed with plum flowers.

You remove pearl-buttoned gloves of soft ivory kidskin.

You have emoted: Laelia begins to remove her jewelry.

You remove a gleaming silver lorgnette necklace.

Sister Bethany d'Murani turns to Lavinya while she waits for Laelia.

You remove a light blue coral ring.

Sister Bethany d'Murani says to Lavinya, "May I have the dagger, Mother?"

You remove a simple ring of bloodstone.

You remove a twisting ring of amethyst.

You have emoted: Laelia hesitates for a moment over the last ring, wrought of
garnet and twisted black iron.

You have emoted: Laelia's face hardens, and she resolutely strips it from her
finger, sharply enough that the raw edges of the ring draw blood, before placing
it in the pouch.

You remove a twisted ring of garnet and black iron.

You have emoted: Laelia stands quietly, clad now in only the simple chemise and
a cilice belt.

You have emoted: Laelia kneels in one graceful movement before the altar, bowing
her head as her long, golden hair brushes the floor.

You have emoted: Laelia lays her head on the stone altar, and proffers her hands
to be secured to large iron rings set in the stone.

Lavinya nods solemnly.

Sister Bethany d'Murani looks over Laelia as she kneels in obeisance to the Lady
of Torturous Beauty. Leaving her mother's side, she moves to kneel behind and
beside Laelia, only standing to secure the woman's wrists to the altar,
rendering her unable to run even if she desired.

You murmur, "I come to make an offering. In the name of the Lady, do as you will.
"

Sister Bethany d'Murani whispers, "Part of me is saddened to harm such a
beautiful specimen of our glorious race. And yet, part of me is eager to cause
harm to such beauty."

Sister Bethany d'Murani looks back to Lavinya, holding her hand out for the
dagger.

You have emoted: Laelia's eyes flicker to Bethany, but she remains in quiet,
penitent silence.

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen passes a ritual dagger to
Bethany.

Sister Bethany d'Murani murmurs softly to herself as she takes the dagger,
turning back to face Laelia. 'In the name of Queen Nifilhema, Lady of Pain, I
will cause pain to the flesh. In the name of Lady Nifilhema, Queen of Beauty, I
will leave the flesh unharmed.'

Sister Bethany d'Murani looks down at Laelia, placing the dagger's tip to the
back of Laelia's shoulder. Murmuring under her breath, she begins to chant
Puella over and over as she cuts into the woman's flesh, carving the dagger from
one shoulder blade to the other. As soon as the metal leaves the split flesh,
the healing chant seals the wound over, though leaving the pain intact.

You have emoted: Laelia bites her lip, exhaling a little, her eyelashes
fluttering shut upon her cheeks.

Silvanus leaves to the north.

Sister Bethany d'Murani pulls the dagger from Laelia's flesh, finishing her
chanting after the slice was finished.



Sparkling, essence-traced calculations precede Nymerya as she drifts in from the
north.

Nymerya ponders for a moment and says "Hrm..."

You have emoted: Laelia jerks against her bonds, her eyes going wide.

Mother Nymerya Koicei, Shadow of the Flame says, "Goodness. It seems as though I
am missing the fun."

Sister Bethany d'Murani stands over Laelia, the other viscanti shackled to the
altar, a bloody dagger in Bethany's hand.

Lavinya curtseys respectfully before Nymerya.

Sister Bethany d'Murani says to Nymerya, "You are, Heresiarch."

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen says, "Your daughter wishes
to make an offering to Queen Nifilhema."

Pursing her lips, Mother Nymerya Koicei, Shadow of the Flame says, "And it seems
that it's being somewhat... indelicately done."

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen says to Bethany, "Give the
dagger to the Heresiarch."

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen says, "I shall instruct her
better later."

Sister Bethany d'Murani says to Lavinya, "Yes, Mother."

Lavinya peers at Bethany unscrupulously.

Sister Bethany d'Murani holds the blade out to Nymerya, the point aimed at
herself.

You have emoted: Laelia's face has paled somewhat, and her breathing is ragged
as she gazes up at Nymerya.

Mother Nymerya Koicei, Shadow of the Flame accepts it, eye brow raised at the
blood, spinning the blade in her fingertips.

Bethany gives a ritualistic Ouroborian dagger to Mother Nymerya Koicei, Shadow
of the Flame.

Bethany is enveloped in translucent fire for a moment and is gone, her soul safe
until she returns to Lusternia.

Mother Nymerya Koicei, Shadow of the Flame says to Lavinya, "It seems your
daughter is somewhat heavy-handed, Iconoclast, judging by the blood..."

The ghost of a smile passes fleetingly across Nymerya's lips.

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen says, "She has not yet been
taught the Queen's arts, I fear."

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen says, "But Laelia requested
her hand."

Turning her gaze to Laelia, her voice a gentle murmur, Mother Nymerya Koicei,
Shadow of the Flame says, "Mmm, you look... worried, my dear."

You have emoted: Laelia rests her head on the altar again, and there is a
rigidness in her posture that was not there before, even when the dagger sliced

You whisper, "I offer myself. Do with me as you will."

You have emoted: Laelia's eyes flutter shut again, golden lashes stark against
her skin, her white chemise spotted by only a few stray drops of blood.

Mother Nymerya Koicei, Shadow of the Flame glides closer to you, a small smile
curving her lips as she leans in, the tip of the dagger sliding over your cheek
to dipple the flesh below one eye. Leaning in, she breathes gentle words into
her ear.

Softly, little more than a whisper, Mother Nymerya Koicei, Shadow of the Flame
says, "What makes you believe your offering is good enough for the Lady, Laelia?
You are tainted by impurities in your very core..."

You have emoted: Laelia's breath comes quickly, in small, terrified gasps that
she tries to conceal.

You have emoted: Laelia looks up mutely, lips parted, finding no answer.

Mother Nymerya Koicei, Shadow of the Flame laughs softly, dragging the tip of
the dagger down your cheek, leaving a thin line of red in it's wake. Deftly
using the sharp edge, she traces over the large vein in the throat, gazing down
on you with an unreadable expression before glancing up.

Mother Nymerya Koicei, Shadow of the Flame says to Lavinya, "Do you believe she
is fit to offer flesh and pain to the Queen?"

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen ponders you in silence for
a few long moments.

You have emoted: Laelia's mouth forms an undecipherable word, her lips trembling
as the blood trickles down her cheek like so many tears.

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen says, "I believe her
offering would be well received by the Queen, yes. Let Laelia's pain be a song
of joy unto her, a willing gift."

You have emoted: Laelia is breathing through her mouth, her hands clutching at
the cold stone of the altar.

Mother Nymerya Koicei, Shadow of the Flame draws her hand back, lips pursed in
thought before she violently slaps you, smearing the blood from her cheek and
breaking the slice open wider. She gives Lavinya a brief nod, turning back with
her head tilted, considering you with a thoughtful gaze.

You have emoted: Laelia's head snaps back as far as it is able, and a choked
little gasp escapes her before she bits her lip again. She is still clutching
the altar with both hands, her knuckles white with tension.

You have emoted: Laelia's amber eyes are wide open now, watching Nymerya, trying
to anticipate the next blow.

Mother Nymerya Koicei, Shadow of the Flame nods approvingly, pressing one
fingertip to your forehead in a silent blessing before using it to hold you
steady as she employs the tip of the blade to begin tracing curling lines deep
into her cheek. The sweeping lines begin to form the shape of the amaranth,
visible for just a moment before blood wells, obscuring the design. Pausing to
consider, Nymerya drops the blade, instead choosing to tangle her fingers into
your hair, pulling her head back sharply.

With a soft hiss, Mother Nymerya Koicei, Shadow of the Flame says, "The essence
of the Queen's Art is love, Laelia. You forgot this, when you asked a heavy-
handed novice to show you Her delights. Your offering may be accepted this time,
with such small pain, but recall this next you wish to be purged."

You have emoted: Laelia cries out this time, half in pain and half in terror,
her head jerked back by the hair so that she has no choice but to look Nymerya
in the eye.

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen gives the faintest of nods
from where she stands, watching in reverent silence.

You have emoted: Laelia looks at Nymerya, clear tears mingling with the red
blood on her face. Her hands have come free from the altar, and are now jerking
against the bonds that hold her there.

You whisper, "Please."

Mother Nymerya Koicei, Shadow of the Flame rips free a lock of dark golden hair
with a violent motion, her other hand sliding down to grasp your throat,
squeezing tightly, her own eyes dark and merciless.

You have emoted: Laelia chokes, her plea cut short, and begins to struggle in
earnest, her wrists pulling against the ropes that bind them.

Twining the golden lock around her fingers and releasing Laelia after a long
moment, Mother Nymerya Koicei, Shadow of the Flame says, "Go and grovel before
the Queen, and think on your actions, Laelia. Consider if you came here, pure of
intent, or if your pain served a purpose."

Nymerya inclines her head politely to Lavinya.

The flicker of essence-silvered calculations trail Nymerya as she leaves to the
north.

You have emoted: Laelia slumps against the altar, still weeping hoarsely, her
limbs trembling against the cold stone.

You have emoted: Laelia slowly stills, sprawled against the altar, taking deep,
gasping breaths.

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen slowly approaches the altar,
her eyes shining in approval as she reaches to untie your bonds.

You have emoted: Laelia's white chemise is crimson now with the blood that drips
slowly down her chin, and she turns her head up to look at Lavinya.

In a hoarse whisper, you say, "I was... not expecting that."

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen says, "Had she not entered,
I was going to halt Bethany anyway. She has MUCH to learn about our Queen's arts,
I fear."

You have emoted: Laelia sits up, rubbing her wrists, her golden hair dark with
blood now.

You say, "I know. And you were right, and I was wrong."

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen says, "What your Mother
spoke is true, Laelia. An offering to Nifilhema is no flippant thing."

You say, "I chose Bethany because she was young - and because I did not fear her."

You say, "Not as I fear my mother."

Softly, Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen says, "I know."

You have emoted: Laelia reaches up to touch her face with trembling fingers.

You say, "And yet - do you know, when my mother took up the knife, I had one
bizarre, flaming moment of - of hope."

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen frowns and says, "Of hope?"

You have emoted: Laelia wraps her arms around her legs, resting her chin on her
knees.

You say, "Yes."

You say, "It - I don't know how to explain it."

You say, "It is as you said, that pain purifies. And I had hoped that, in having
me at her mercy, in giving me pain, she would somehow sate her anger against me."

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen shakes her head sadly.

You say, "That cold, formal rage, Lavinya. It is a terrible thing."

You say, "I was wrong. I knew I was wrong an instant later. But that moment of
hope - it hurt the most."

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen says to you, "Use it. That
pain, embrace it, learn to withstand it."

You have emoted: Laelia laughs, a little shakily.

You say, "It is as they say, that pain and fear are more in the mind than in the
body."

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen smiles and says, "Aye, it
is. Control your mind and you will be nigh unstoppable."

Pensively, you say, "I could withstand the pain of Bethany's first cut, deep
though it was. But my mother's blows utterly undid me, even before they landed."

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen says, "There is so, so much
more to pain than the butchering of the body."

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen says, "Indeed, I think the
physical can sometimes be the least of the sufferings we endure."

You say, "There is pain. And then there is terror, and fear, and guilt."

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen says, "In this, you have
found a new revelation of the Queen, I think."

Lavinya smiles softly.

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen says, "You should do as
your mother said and think on these things."

Quietly, you say, "Yes. At the heart of it, there is love. For I love my mother
still, which makes her cruel touch unbearable, however slight the pain."

You have emoted: Laelia rises stiffly to her feet, gripping the bloodied altar
for support.

Iconoclast Lavinya n'Kylbar, Prophetess of the Queen touches a gentle hand to
your unscarred cheek and smiles with sympathy.

You have emoted: Laelia begins to don her items again.

You slip into a light blue coral ring.

You slip into a simple ring of bloodstone.

You slip into a twisting ring of amethyst.

You close your eyes and inhale deeply, absorbing the scent of your surroundings.

You slip into a twisted ring of garnet and black iron.

Lavinya, riding a coal black nightmare, leaves to the north.
A coal black nightmare rears up and sends a bank of grey clouds rolling to the
north, galloping away upon it.


I've been plotting a project that will record -all- the logs of this character from chargen to present, thus making a more-or-less coherent story of the entire character's life from logs and journals and letters, so you'll probably be seeing a lot more of Laelia.

P.S. Everyone was awesome in here. Except for Ironbeard...

A nice scene, but my big takeaway was: Ranadae is active!

I just don't understand the flagellation RP. It looks well done, but it's really beyond my scope.

I consider it a Mag RP point. The fun thing about RPing in Mag (as opposed to the "lighter" orgs) is that because your characters are so different from you, it's easier to make them do stuff you yourself never would.

You really think so? I feel distant from all of my characters; every organization is messed up from an RL perspective (though granted Magnagora and Glomdoring are significantly worse than anyone else), so even my light-hearted characters are members of civilizations that condone mass-murder, slavery, and hugging in public. Monstrous, says I.

Good log, though. Makes me nostalgic for Classic Jack and his knife collection.

Arson, murder and jaywalking!

Looking back, I see a few silly errors from my end. I'm still happy with how it turned out, however.

Magnagoran roleplay is firmly geared towards the dark and the glittering- pain, suffering and other such taboo areas are treated as required as a means by which to strengthen your character.

They're also essential to the end goal of freeing yourself from the tyranny of the Fates! If you allow fear of pain, or of being out of control, rule your life, you're merely setting yourself up to be controlled by the Fates forever. As a Nihilist, that would be entirely shameful.

I felt there was more that could be explored. To me, it felt a little lacking in.. something. Maybe I'll get to see it as Laelia progresses. It does show a small portion of Mag./Nihilist RP, but I felt much could be done to showcase it in a varying manner. My personal 2 cents.

All round, I think I like Nymerya's emotes a lot. Her words also hint at the underlying subject that is really what drives Nihilist RP, and how several concepts are viewed by them through perverted perception. I'm quite aware that some may find it distasteful/too horrifying in a PG-13 environment.

Thanks for sharing that.

Trust me, I neither indulge in cannibalism nor attempt to extricate people's spleens for a barbecue in real life. I'm just saying that it's really hard for me to wrap my head around the self-pain ritual-torture RP.

Have any RL tattoos? If so, build on that.

Considering it was a completely spur of the moment ritual, I think there was quite nice depth to it. And yes, Nymerya is super awesome at being scary

I've always been active. I've just been glamouring myself as a tree and hiding in Glomdoring.