Special thanks to casilu (whose perfection springs from the spontaneity of creation), Daeki and Shaddus for providing helpful inspirational material, and AquaNeos for performing the ritual that summons me. No apologies to Sir Mix-a-Lot, who deserves every bit of this and more.

===

I like big bucks, and I can not lie.
You other druids can't deny
That when a girl bolts in from a highly raided place
And her tail up in your face,
You get sprung! Wanna pull out your cudge'
And start to make a valley smudge.
Her stagform is paradin'.
My mudsex reservations are fadin'.
Oh baby, I wanna get with ya,
And Megalith ya.
My homeboys tried to warn me,
But those horns you got makes me so horny.
Ooh, deer got smooth skin.
Bestiality ain't a real sin.
Well, use me, use me.
Your stagform don't confuse me.
I've seen you stompin'.
To hell with rompin'
She's horned, swarmed,
Makin' me feel all forlorned.
You Hartstone's ain't got to cower
Sayin' Stag is underpowered.
No Seren man wants a doe or fawn -
She gotta have her antlers on!
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the buck? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy buck!
Baby got rack!

(Bambi's face with Great Hart's horns)
Baby got rack!

I like 'em sharp and numerous,
And I ain't bein' humorous.
I just can't help myself; she's lookin' like an animal!
Now, here's my scandal:
I wanna get you home
And headbutt, double-up, headbutt, headbutt!
I ain't talkin' bout Field & Stream
'Cause deer just ain't my thing.
I want 'em real sleek and Druish,
So find that sexy Hartstone.
Seren hearts about to get owned -
Stagstomped when she got me proned.
So, I'm lookin' at a Moondancer.
She naked, but she got no antler.
You can have your 'dancer.
I'll keep my women like Prancer.
A word to the big horned sisters: I wanna get with ya.
I won't Pathtwist ya,
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna buck
Till the break of dawn.
Baby got her Stag hide on.
A lot of prudes won't like this song,
'Cause them punks like to kiss you and QQ,
And I'd rather stay and play,
'Cause I write, and it's tight.
My emotes will last you all night.
So, ladies! {Yeah!} Ladies! {Yeah}
Are you a druid alt of Sadie's? {Yeah!}
Then turn around! Shake your horns!
Even Glom boys feelin' torn.
Baby got rack!

Baby got rack!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to females, Topguilds ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection. 36 members online? Ha ha, only if she joined Glom.

So your girlfriend rolls a Crowform, sayin' she won't go in no form,
But Crowform girls in their nests don't make me grow form.
My Snake totem don't want none
Unless you roll Stag, hun.
You can trim or you can file 'em,
But please don't lose that rack.
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role,
And tell you that the snugglin' gets old.
So they quit your rack and leave it,
But I pull up quick to retrieve it!
So forums say you're lame.
Well, I don't feel the same!
'Cause your DESC is long, and your curves are supple,
And I'm tryin' to couple.
To the naked witches in the woods,
I ain't sayin' you ain't good,
But give me a druid, one that's nuded.
She makes my knees go fluid.
Some idiot issued me
'Cause his girl hangs wit me for RP.
He had game but he had no plan.
His emotes came from a can.
So ladies, if you got the Stag,
And you want a new medicine bag,
Just give me privs to your aethermanse,
And I'll forget my pants.
Baby got rack!

(Little in the middle but she got much rack)

You never fail. Keep them coming good sir.

I seriously was laughing aloud while reading this. Good show, good show!

was this sung IC?

No. Not only would I fear for my rolepoints, but it would give an inaccurate account of my perceived hawtness of Blacktalon women.

Well put, if only certain bards learned how to keep OOC songs, well, OOC.

Can't hit me, can't hit me, no he can't hit me through IllusorySelf
(bitches don't know 'bout my Glamours)

OT: Excellent as always.

This kills me, I can't stop rolling! I hurt from laughter, but it hurts so good!

You so scare me.

It's beautiful...

Lol Druish. Anyone else get a memory of Spaceballs popping up in their heads?

......