Weird and wacky designs!

by Unknown

Back to The Funnies.

Unknown2010-04-12 04:50:25
Show the weird design you've seen! Whether it's bacon undies (*cough* Viynain *cough*), or blood icecream!

First up, we have Vivi's utterly weird and utterly disgusting muffin!

QUOTE
a grotesque krokani muffin

An over-sized muffin gazes eerily back with the eyeball embedded into its golden brown crust.

Uncommonly large for a baked confection, the luxurious golden brown form
of this muffin lies overshadowed by the grotesque addition embedded atop
its steaming cap. Freshly plucked and set within the hollow specially
made for the item, a moist eyeball stares unblinking atop the
confection. Roughly the size of an adult krokani's eye, the addition's
beautiful, sapphire-hued iris ironically complements the dark confection
with a hideous mix of a macabre delectability.
It has 1 months of usefulness left.
It weighs 4 ounce(s).
It bears the distinctive mark of Prince Viynain Stormcrow, Savant of Darkness.
It has been stamped with the seal of Children of Crow.

You tentatively stick out your tongue and lick a grotesque krokani muffin.
Your tongue quivers as it comes into contact with the gelatinous eyeball of the muffin.

Barely detectable, the faint aroma of the baked muffin reaches your senses.

You quickly devour a grotesque krokani muffin.
Eyeing the confection, you catch yourself pausing at the irony before hesitantly nibbling the edges surrounding the crowning jewel of the pastry. Soft and sweet, you clear your throat before opening your mouth wide enough to bite into the confection. A gelatinous ooze of fresh juices splatters against your lips as you reflexively swallow, urging your stomach to becalm itself as you finish the rest of the appalling muffin.


Next is Kharaen's!

QUOTE
You carefully study a cooking recipe.
Item: Platter Type: Delicacies Org: Feast
Ingredients: fruit 1 fish 2 eggs 2 milk 2 sargassum 1 snowball 1 merian 2
Mortal Reviews: Allowed
IMPORTANT: The main noun MUST use one of these: PLATTER
Appearance:
a scrumptious merian mousse served upon a silver platter
Dropped:
A trio of merian eyeballs glare from their perch upon this platter.
Examined:
Three shot glasses are precisely aligned upon a narrow, silver platter,
each having been filled with a frothy, merian mousse. Several merians
have been mercilessly sought for the colour of their flesh, attaining
startling hues in the creamy compound of the mousse as well as varying
consistencies. The first glass is topped with a pink mousse, the second
with a creamy white while the third is a startling shade of cerulean
blue. Floating buoyantly upon the centre of each confection is a
vitreous merian eye, a disconcerting apparition that stares hauntingly
from the fogged glasses. Flakes of finely chopped sargassum and a touch
of lime zest are lightly sprinkled over each mousse, their verdancy a
pleasant accompaniment to the marine palette of the delicate dish.
Consume:
Ladling a tiny spoonful of mousse from each glass, you spoon it into your mouth and delight at the moist, fluffy texture. The barest undertones of fish stock accent the cloying tang of the sweet merian puree and cream. You tentatively bite into one of the eyes, meeting very little resistance from the firm, gelatinous mass as it melts like butter upon your tongue. Suckling at the liquid centre that dribbles forth from its pierced casing, a bare hint of a metallic flavour is barely discerned before the inedible cornea is spit onto the platter with a faintly audible clang.
Smell:
Subtle, savoury scents waft temptingly from within their glass casings.
Taste:
Skirting the perturbing eye, your tongue scoops a bit of the pinkish mousse tasting a mildly creamy flavour.


Artist unknown on this next one. Pretty sure it's Vermilla!

QUOTE
These red, feminine robes contour to the woman's body with sleeves that
hang off the shoulders, a low-dipping neckline, and an hourglass cut.
The sleeves hug tightly to the arm, stripped in fashion with thick bands
of red and white like peppermint candies. Twisting like crimson
licorice, a swirling yet thin rope lines the sensuous curve around the
front of the robes as well as the bottom hem. A set of tiny buttons
close the front of the robes from the cleavage to the waist. Closer
inspection reveals these buttons to be designed like tiny gingerbread
men, their small licorice whips fastening them to the red cloth beneath.
Lastly, dozens of fake gumdrops, snowflake candies, sugary cookies,
candy peeps, and lemon drops are scattered across the entire set, making
these robes fit for a candy lover.
It has 66 months of usefulness left.
It weighs about 3 pounds and 0 ounce(s).
It bears the distinctive mark of Sohei Kalas Malarious, of the Eternal Deception.
It has been stamped with the seal of Kitten Tailoring Cartel.


And finally, another one of Vivi's sick 'treats'

QUOTE
You put your nose over a hefty igasho ladyfinger and inhale.
Soft and muted, the fragrance of a freshly baked pastry rises from the treat.

You tentatively stick out your tongue and lick a hefty igasho ladyfinger.
Deceptively sweet, a nibble of the pastry reveals a decadently baked ladyfinger.
It can be said to be filling.

A rather sizable ladyfinger lies shaped into the undeniably remarkable form of an igasho.

Decadently baked into a rather sizable pastry, a golden-brown ladyfinger
lies elongated to accommodate the image carefully shaped into the
treat's surface. With masterful precision, the delicate confection
conforms into the shape of a fearsome igasho. Distinguishable by its
prominent features, the treat curiously depicts the creature howling in
rage, brandishing a pair of fingerless hands as an ominous touch of red
tints the tip of one end with an alluring bit of crimson.
It has 1 months of usefulness left.
It weighs 4 ounce(s).
It bears the distinctive mark of Prince Viynain Stormcrow, Savant of Darkness.
It has been stamped with the seal of Children of Crow.

You quickly devour a hefty igasho ladyfinger.
Weighing surprisingly heavy for a baked treat, you begin the feast with the first tentative bite on the side of the pastry. Revealing nothing more than a sweetly rendered confection fresh from the oven, you heartily proceed by biting deeply into the curiously crimson tip of the treat. Mid-way through the bite, your teeth encounter a texture as of yet unexpected from the ladyfinger. Supple flesh gives way to sturdy bone as realisation dawns upon you and the rest of the pastry crumbles against your lips, unveiling the horrific remains of an igasho finger embedded deep within.


Edit: If your design is posted annd we don't know that it is yours, be sure to lay claim to it!
Razenth2010-04-12 04:59:48
Someone post Arix's lobby slippers.
Xiel2010-04-12 05:45:04
I'm completely innocent. cloud9.gif
Lothringen2010-04-12 06:01:49
QUOTE
Item: Boxers Type: Underwear Org: HD
Commodities: silk 2 wood 1 redtint 1
Mortal Reviews: Allowed
Layer: UNDERWEAR Bodyparts: waist
IMPORTANT: The main noun MUST use one of these: BOXERS
Appearance:
burgundy silk Megalith of Doom boxers
Dropped:
Burgundy silk boxer shorts have been left here, gathering dust.
Examined:
Made of finest silk dyed a deep, rich burgundy, these boxers are cool
and smooth to the touch. They reach to about mid-thigh, wide enough to
provide plenty of room to move around in. Printed on the front is the
ominous form of the Megalith of Doom, an ebony spire of rock incised
with long cracks that ooze viscous oil. Three small square buttons match
in hue the black stone, carved of ebony, closing a small flap in the
front.


Suggestive. happy.gif
Unknown2010-04-12 06:06:31
QUOTE (Lothringen @ Apr 11 2010, 11:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Suggestive. happy.gif


Oh no, dear. THIS is suggestive.

QUOTE
seductive thong panties of black lace

A simple and risque garment, these panties are woven from delicate lace
and interspersed with a simple, stylised blooming rose pattern. The
edges of the thong sweep upwards to contour the line of the hips and
thighs enticingly, accentuating each while the lace allows glimpses of
the skin beneath. A triangular piece of silk has been sewn into the
front of the piece for some measure of modesty.


I realized very few people have actually seen the Evepuff. So here!

QUOTE
Choux pastry, native to Delport, has been baked to resemble a cloud
puff, thus giving this dessert an affectionate name of 'Evepuff'. The
pastry is light and fluffy and encases smooth and creamy vanilla ice
cream that has been inserted and frozen within. Small toffee bits peek
out from the ice cream that is visible from the opening of the pastry,
giving the otherwise unblemished white colour of the ice cream a hint of
gold. As an added embellishment, the entire puffed ice cream, or
'Evepuff', has been dipped into a creamy, sugary syrup that has been
infused with the kafe bean, giving the top of the 'Evepuff' a sweet and
creamy deep brown glaze upon its top hemisphere.
It has 1 months of usefulness left.
It weighs 5 ounce(s).
It bears the distinctive mark of Lord Pectus Dawneye, The Celestial Nightingale.
It has been stamped with the seal of Whimsical Voluptuary.

You tentatively stick out your tongue and lick an 'Evepuff' ice cream.
You are amazed at the complex processes and ingredients of this dessert working together into a symphony of flavours, penetrating even in this small sample.
It can be said to be filling.

You put your nose over an 'Evepuff' ice cream and inhale.
The aroma of the sweet kafe-infused glaze seems to pierce the delicate scent of freshly baked pastry and sweet, creamy ice cream.

Oozing slightly from the pastry opening, an 'Evepuff' ice cream lies here forlornly.

You consume an 'Evepuff' ice cream leisurely, enjoying every bite.
You take a bite through the light pastry and dig straight into the creamy vanilla ice cream within the 'Evepuff'. The mild flavour of the pastry blends well with the cool and smooth ice cream, satisfying your taste sensation. As you continue to chew the pastry, an amazing texture overlaps the crispness of the pastry and the smoothness of the ice cream as you bite into the crunchy toffee within. As a bind for all the sensation of the 'Evepuff', the sweet and smooth flavour of the kafe infused glaze seems to bring all the texture and flavour together into a wonderful and sweet experience.


Cool, ain't it? biggrin.gif Arin's doing a Morgpie and a Crystalcakes too!
Unknown2010-04-12 09:45:52
Dunno who did this one. Probably Sotsepmet.

QUOTE
You carefully study a cooking recipe.
Item: Soup Type: Soup Org: Public
Ingredients: meat 1 vegetables 1 milk 2
Mortal Reviews: Allowed
IMPORTANT: The main noun MUST use one of these: SOUP, BOWL
Appearance:
slowly decomposing soup
Dropped:
Leaking foul vapours, a red ceramic bowl sits here, its contents decomposing rapidly.
Examined:
A truly ghastly soup, which can only be likened to an ancient pig's
trough, slowly ferments in a red ceramic bowl. Foul pieces of meat can
be seen drifting in the soup, as can rotten pieces of vegetables, and
soured curds of milk. A true showcase of the horrors of death, this
fragrant bowl is obviously intended for the already deceased.
Consume:
As the cold, sour milk curds ooze down your throat, congealing in your stomach, you slowly chew on the meat and vegetables, as each dulled squish of every bit is accompanied by a taste of garbage, the putrescent juices mingling with the already downed milk curds. You cannot help but smell the vapours of the veritable slurry of decomposition and quickly gag, your nose refusing to allow such abuse of your senses to continue.
Smell:
The abhorrent stench of decomposition violates your sense of smell.
Taste:
As you take a small sip of the soup, your tongue receives a brief and unpleasant taste of its own impending abuse.


Maggity Maggity Moo?
Lendren2010-04-12 12:39:56
I'd like to see some that choose paths to 'weird' that aren't solely through 'gross'.
Unknown2010-04-12 12:42:33
Then post some? You're stuffed to the eyeballs with designs! tongue.gif Geddit? Eyeballs? Vivi's eyeball muffin? 5 AM humour is so oh my gawd funny!
Lendren2010-04-12 13:29:06
I only have my own (which seems a bit self-aggrandizing to post) and public designs, and no really interesting and unusual public artisan designs leap to mind other than gross ones. (Or a few which are also mine, like the vivid pink drapes done for Charune's temple, or the eight-poster bed I did as a joke.) I guess this one's kind of weird:
QUOTE
Item: Watch Type: Timepieces Org: Public
Commodities: gold 25 silver 25 gems 10 sand 3 wood 12
Mortal Reviews: Allowed
Space: 0% Furniture Type: Normal Furnishings
Outdoors: No Container: No Can Have Lock: No
IMPORTANT: The main noun MUST use one of these: WATCH
Appearance:
a small watch bearing an hourglass
Dropped:
On the ground here is a watch bearing a miniature hourglass.
Examined:
This silver and gold wrist watch is oddly formed. Instead of a face
showing the time, small posts vertically support a mahogany hourglass
holding a small amount of golden sand. Easily turned over by a small
dial on the side, the hourglass seems to keep time perfectly no matter
how the watch is turned or banged around in battle.

Unknown2010-04-12 14:00:58
QUOTE (Lendren @ Apr 12 2010, 06:29 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I only have my own (which seems a bit self-aggrandizing to post) and public designs, and no really interesting and unusual public artisan designs leap to mind other than gross ones. (Or a few which are also mine, like the vivid pink drapes done for Charune's temple, or the eight-poster bed I did as a joke.) I guess this one's kind of weird:


Oh I've seen that eight-postered one! I still have no idea how it worked.

QUOTE
You carefully study a cooking recipe.
Item: Cake Type: Cakes Org: Voluptuary
Ingredients: grain 4 sugar 2
Mortal Reviews: Allowed
IMPORTANT: The main noun MUST use one of these: CAKE
Appearance:
a holy cow sponge cake
Dropped:
Standing erect on the ground here is a holy cow sponge cake.
Examined:
A delicious sponge cake has been baked into an adorable shape of a cow's
head. The head is shaped like a childlike depiction with large flaring
nostrils, bright eyes and mottled black on white pattern. A bright red
tongue protrudes from a smiling mouth and small brown horns stand out
from the cow's head. What is special about this cow sponge cake is the
small pair of angelic wings spread out from behind the head and a golden
halo wrought around the horns and crown.
Consume:
You take a bit of the holy cow sponge cake and put it in your mouth. As you swirl it around your mouth you taste the sweetness of the icing which is toned down by the mild sponge cake. The flavour is extremely sweet, more targeted for children and those of sweet tooth, and you swallow the mouthful down. However, the flavour is nice and you quickly finish off the cake, leaving nothing but various crumbs around you.
Smell:
You take a deep breath over the holy cow sponge cake and you detect a mild sweet aroma floating up from it.
Taste:
You take a tiny nibble of the cake and instantly the sweetness overwhelms you.


Happy? It's weird. But not creeepy.
Lendren2010-04-12 15:05:42
QUOTE (Pectus Dawneye @ Apr 12 2010, 10:00 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Oh I've seen that eight-postered one! I still have no idea how it worked.

Take a four-poster bed and replace each one with two posts, spaced six inches apart, diagonally, so that you get a big octagon with four really big sides and four really little sides, and that's it. The design was intended to make fun of how many four-poster beds there are in the game, and how, no matter how much creativity you pour into making interesting beds, more than half of the customers will buy one of the first four public designs because they include the words "four-poster" and either "luxurious" or "elegant" or something else that means high-class. So the design is as over-the-top as possible with eagerness to convince you it's grandiose and expensive, not by describing anything that actually is grand, but just by telling you over and over that it is grand. It actually sells fairly well... -sigh-
QUOTE
Appearance:
a sumptuous eight-poster bed
Dropped:
An extremely grand eight-poster bed looms decadently within the centre of the room.
Examined:
This extremely elegant and ornate bed is elaborately built with eight
grandiose wooden posts, two at each corner set diagonally to create a
baroquely intricate line of overlapping gauzy silk curtains. Fluffy
pillows sheathed in silk sit against the headboard, their edges tatted
in a lacey frillwork. An elegantly embroidered comforter rests atop the
fine silk sheets of cream white, promising untold decadence.
Casilu2010-04-12 16:09:56
forgings masterweapons 7358
You carefully study a forging design.
Item: Klangaxe Type: Masterweapons Org: Viperfang
Commodities: silver 100 iron 100
Mortal Reviews: Allowed
IMPORTANT: The main noun MUST use one of these: KLANGAXE, AXE
Appearance:
a klangaxe composed of kata weapons
Dropped:
A klangaxe crafted from assorted kata weapons has been discarded here.
Examined:
This unique warrior's weapon has been cobbled together from a motley
assortment of kata weapons. The central shaft of the weapon is a
tahtetso's staff, a pair of silver vipers coiling menacingly about a
sturdy iron core. The vipers have been lovingly etched with a lifelike
pattern of scales, aiding in maintaining a firm grip. Crafted from
brilliant silver links, a jakari chain links the tip and base of the
weapon, providing an elegant, if unusual, sling by which to carry the
assembled axe. Each link of the jakari chain has been fused with a
glittering nekai blade, further enhancing the aesthetics of the curious
yet lethal assembly. A pair of shofa blades form the business end, their
crescent forms adding a nostalgic touch of the Shofangi. Forged from
brilliantly polished silver, the hand-grips of the shofa blades have
been flattened, pounded, and joined together into a cylindrical tube
that has been fitted over one end of the tahto staff and riveted in
place. The shofa have been set parallel to each other, providing twin
sets of lethally sharp blades.
Comments:
Masterweapon please. Restricted (Casilu)

forgings masterweapons 8566
You carefully study a forging design.
Item: Klangaxe Type: Masterweapons Org: Viperfang
Commodities: wood 100 steel 100
Mortal Reviews: Allowed
IMPORTANT: The main noun MUST use one of these: KLANGAXE, AXE
Appearance:
a rocking horse klangaxe
Dropped:
A dangerously weaponized child's toy in the shape of a klangaxe has been cast aside here.
Examined:
Fashioned in the visage of a popular child's toy, this rocking horse has
a number of distinctive modifications, quite deadly in spite of the
adorable face. The spindly legs that would ordinarily support its weight
have been skewed and rotated to be opposite to each other, and the base
of each has been edged with steel that has been worked into a deadly
edge. Inlaid with beautiful woodwork and wrought to provide a solid
grip, the handle passes through the underbelly of the horse and out the
top, terminating in a cruelly barbed spike. The spike is adorned with a
pair of symbols, one on each side. On one face is a tracery of a four
pointed star. On the other rests an etching of a crossed hammer and
feather, set within three concentric circles.
Comments:
Masterweapon, Restricted: (Casilu)


You carefully study a forging design.
Item: Helm Type: Greathelms Org: Public
Commodities: steel 15 iron 15 ruby 2 leather 3
Mortal Reviews: Allowed
IMPORTANT: The main noun MUST use one of these: HELM
Appearance:
a patchwork great helm of Capricorn
Dropped:
Glinting dully in the available light, a strange helm has been dropped here.
Examined:
Gaudy and rather bizarre, this helm has been cobbled together from
irregular scraps of iron and steel. Closer inspection reveals that some
of the scraps are shaped like bits of junk, such as broken shields,
cracked armour pieces, and assorted tableware. The helm covers most of
the head, with a faceguard shaped like a rusty old grate that can be
removed or secured by means of a pair of clasps on either side of the
helm. The interior is lined with soft leather, so as to protect the
wearer further. Standing on top of this battered and misshapen piece of
headgear, a Capricorn goat has been crafted from steel, its ruby eyes
exuding a mere fraction of the malevolence that the real thing has to
offer. The creature has been positioned so that it appears to be ready
to leap from the front of the helm and attack anyone who gets in the
way.
Comments:

Unknown2010-04-12 16:39:43
QUOTE (casilu @ Apr 12 2010, 09:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
forgings masterweapons 8566
You carefully study a forging design.
Item: Klangaxe Type: Masterweapons Org: Viperfang
Commodities: wood 100 steel 100
Mortal Reviews: Allowed
IMPORTANT: The main noun MUST use one of these: KLANGAXE, AXE
Appearance:
a rocking horse klangaxe
Dropped:
A dangerously weaponized child's toy in the shape of a klangaxe has been cast aside here.
Examined:
Fashioned in the visage of a popular child's toy, this rocking horse has
a number of distinctive modifications, quite deadly in spite of the
adorable face. The spindly legs that would ordinarily support its weight
have been skewed and rotated to be opposite to each other, and the base
of each has been edged with steel that has been worked into a deadly
edge. Inlaid with beautiful woodwork and wrought to provide a solid
grip, the handle passes through the underbelly of the horse and out the
top, terminating in a cruelly barbed spike. The spike is adorned with a
pair of symbols, one on each side. On one face is a tracery of a four
pointed star. On the other rests an etching of a crossed hammer and
feather, set within three concentric circles.
Comments:
Masterweapon, Restricted: (Casilu)


...Is that what Jethri uses his rocking horse for?
Lendren2010-04-12 18:30:07
See, one of the weird designs I'd post if we were posting our own designs is a rocking horse rocking chair. smile.gif
Unknown2010-04-13 02:29:09
QUOTE
You carefully study a cooking recipe.
Item: Muffin Type: Baking Org: Feast
Ingredients: eggs 1 fruit 1 grain 1 milk 1 spices 1
Mortal Reviews: Allowed
IMPORTANT: The main noun MUST use one of these: MUFFIN
Appearance:
a banana bumblebee muffin
Dropped:
A striped muffin sits here inconspicuously, its antennae bobbing playfully.
Examined:
Perhaps a third the size of an ordinary muffin, this breaded treat is
intended to sway the masses with its industriously cute design. The
batter used to confect this sweet was given a quick swirl before being
baked, so that spirals of yellow and brown striate throughout the
muffin. The paper housing the muffin has been painted in stripes of
black and yellow that alternate at every crinkle. A dollop of butter has
been melted on top of the treat, glazing the crust with a gentle gleam.
Whimsically adorning the muffin are a pair of liquorice antennae, the
reed-thin sweets curling at their apex and bulging into a round puff at
their tips.
Consume:
The crust of this muffin is crumbly, giving way with a buttery crunch that is utterly divine. The body beneath the crust itself is warm and incredibly moist, the subdued, cloying flavour of carob complemented by a more dominant, mellow sweetness of banana. Between bites you nibble on the liquorice antennae, further spicing the treat with its strong, distinct taste.
Smell:
All sorts of sweet scents arise from this delightful confection.
Taste:
You take a nibble from the crust of the muffin, and are pleased with its buttery crunch.
Xenthos2010-04-13 02:46:56
If only they were Kepheran antennae, it would be perfect. sad.gif
Unknown2010-04-13 02:54:22
QUOTE (Xenthos @ Apr 12 2010, 07:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If only they were Kepheran antennae, it would be perfect. sad.gif


I dunno if baking can use those types of things, actually. I think only delicacies can.
Unknown2010-04-13 03:27:27
Not true! There's kephera cheesecake floating around somewhere.
Unknown2010-04-13 03:28:59
QUOTE (Silferras @ Apr 12 2010, 08:27 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Not true! There's kephera cheesecake floating around somewhere.


Cheesecake is CAKES though! Muffins are BAKING. Someone will have to try, so we can see!
Xenthos2010-04-13 03:33:13
QUOTE (Pectus Dawneye @ Apr 12 2010, 11:28 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Cheesecake is CAKES though! Muffins are BAKING. Someone will have to try, so we can see!

Aren't cakes baked?