Lusternian Murphy's Rules: Trade

by Lendren

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Lendren2010-03-14 00:03:55
"Murphy's Rules" are rules in a game that make no sense or are obscenely unrealistic, especially if they're rules where the rule itself seems to make sense until you sit down and analyze the results. An example would be fumble rules in roleplaying games that, if played out literally, would mean an average driver would have a fatal collision on average every three or four miles of driving.

Finding Murphy's Rules in Lusternia is way, way too easy to be fun, and likely to descend into bitterness, if we do it in a very general sense. Lusternia isn't the kind of game whose design strives for realism, particularly when combat balance is involved. But it might be fun to do it in a more narrow focus, and talk only about the Murphy's Rules concerning trade and economics. Let's just try to focus on things that are amusingly absurd and therefore fun, instead of getting bitter or overly critical. I'll start:

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Without a shovel (or the aid of a totem spirit), you can't dig a hole in sand big enough to bury a pebble. But with no tools and in the middle of the desert, you can shape iron bars into that shovel.

Not one single player in Lusternia knows how to make lumber into wood, or how to use lumber for campfires, yet every single player knows how to make wood into paper.

If you could make them, paper plates would cost about twice as much as plates made of solid diamond. Fortunately, you don't have to. An infinite supply of plates is always available in every kitchen, and the world is full of invisible pixies who collect used plates, wash them, and return them to kitchens for reuse.

A piping hot bowl of cream soup will keep fresh and tasty for more than two years, or three years in a wooden basket, and thus far longer than the basket itself. Not only that, it stays piping hot the entire time.

With proper care, jewelry can be made to last forever. However, it's virtually always cheaper to melt it and reshape it from scratch, than to clean off scratches and polish the surfaces.

If Lusternia had antiques shops, they would be filled with old hats and socks, since those can be preserved essentially forever with mending, but there wouldn't be a single antique cabinet or chair in the world, since those can't be repaired or maintained at all.

The smartest animals in Lusternia are cows, sheep, and chickens. After all, we can build barriers that can keep out Soulless Gods, walls that can't be passed without solving complex puzzles, and spells that can lock down teleportation in entire regions, but they haven't yet built the fence that can keep a cow in the pasture.

Wear a cloak until it's falling apart, and someone can use the rags to make a fine evening gown. But break apart a table, and you don't even end up with kindling.

Even if you know how to build tents, and you can design them from scratch, you probably still can't pitch or strike them.

Lawliet2010-03-14 00:24:43
Books last forever and cannot be damaged or destroyed (unless put in a nexus), yet in several quests you can find damaged books, or pages from books.
Xavius2010-03-14 03:28:13
Murphy only has one rule, and it's never leave home without a can of Harden Up.
Jules2010-03-14 04:28:49
From two sticks of wood, you can make a deck of cards, and a box to hold them in. With one of those little pieces of paper, but a sliver of a stick from some tree, I can steal your soul.
Shamarah2010-03-14 05:31:27
A simple, seemingly non-magical pogo stick is worth hundreds of thousands of gold coins in dingbats.
Shaddus2010-03-14 06:09:20
QUOTE (Lendren @ Mar 13 2010, 06:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Without a shovel (or the aid of a totem spirit), you can't dig a hole in sand big enough to bury a pebble. But with no tools and in the middle of the desert, you can shape iron bars into that shovel.

You can also bury anything you wish without a shovel, unless I'm mistaken.


Not one single player in Lusternia knows how to make lumber into wood, or how to use lumber for campfires, yet every single player knows how to make wood into paper.
And yet, an orc in Acknor knows how to do that very thing. Aren't orcs supposed to be the stupid race?

Shaddus2010-03-14 06:13:43
If I squeeze a cobra for poison, I get the same amount every time. If I pour it into an artifact vial or keg I will get double the amount. However, if I pour that amount into a non-special vial or keg, there's less of it when it gets there..
Esano2010-03-14 06:26:17
It takes longer to destroy a marble statue than it does to create one.

Pearls are mined and cut.

A throne of solid diamond is perhaps the cheapest one to create.

With no tools and but a little training, anyone can 'fuse' gemstones - even diamonds - together into a perfect vial.
Mirami2010-03-14 06:39:03
You can wear robes, a coat, a cape, and a crown all at the same time.
Shaddus2010-03-14 07:39:09
QUOTE (Esano @ Mar 14 2010, 12:26 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
A throne of solid diamond is perhaps the cheapest one to create.

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I'm still proud I designed that throne.
Murphy2010-03-14 09:53:11
Listen here princess, the only person who decides what Murphy's rule are, is Murphy. You're a nasty little piece of work.

Murphy's first rule: You do not talk about Murphy.
Lendren2010-03-14 13:42:31
QUOTE (Murphy @ Mar 14 2010, 04:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Listen here princess, the only person who decides what Murphy's rule are, is Murphy. You're a nasty little piece of work.

Murphy's first rule: You do not talk about Murphy.

Sorry, sweetie, the name precedes you by rather a long, long time. Harden up, princess.
Everiine2010-03-14 16:53:25
QUOTE (Lendren @ Mar 14 2010, 09:42 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Sorry, sweetie, the name precedes you by rather a long, long time. Harden up, princess.

OOOOOOOOH SNAP
Reiha2010-03-14 17:38:30
QUOTE (Murphy @ Mar 14 2010, 02:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Listen here princess, the only person who decides what Murphy's rule are, is Murphy. You're a nasty little piece of work.

Murphy's first rule: You do not talk about Murphy.

I love Murphy!
Murphy2010-03-14 21:17:27
QUOTE (Lendren @ Mar 14 2010, 11:42 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Sorry, sweetie, the name precedes you by rather a long, long time. Harden up, princess.


You anger me boy
Aramel2010-05-20 11:25:19
A wooden ring uses more wood than a pipe. You can carry as many huge kegs around as you like. Books always magically return themselves to the library when they're due.
Noola2010-05-20 12:32:05
QUOTE (Aramel @ May 20 2010, 06:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Books always magically return themselves to the library when they're due.



And wouldn't that one be nice in real life? I have SUCH a library fine right now. blackeye.gif

To be on topic: If you go for a walk along a highway, or through the hills and mountains, chances are you're going to run smack into a farm animal. Why? Because in Lusternia, cows and sheep are apparently ninjas and no one sees them right in the way until it's too late.
Aerotan2010-05-21 18:58:18
Even if the earth itself will move out of the way to give you a sickle, which you can then use to make every plant in a thirty foot radius grow visibly, you still cannot cultivate a single usable piece of that plant without several lessons into a skill.
Sylphas2010-05-21 20:53:51
I can summon a meteor storm to cause an annihilating holocaust, but it won't cause a even a single snowball to melt, let alone an icewall.
Aramel2010-05-22 15:12:48
An old, tattered piece of clothing costs about five times as much as a new one.