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Bizi-Dorn Acquisitions: The Ascension Gala Rebellion by Alarin

for July 2021

The giant form of Alarin Stormcrow strides onto the stage, waving to the audience in greeting.

"Hello again, everyone!" they say cheerily.

"As most of you know, I am Alarin Stormcrow and this is-- wait, where's Thaldorn?!"

"...Thaldorn is busy. Come back later!" the silverback's voice echoes from the backstage area.

Thaldorn suddenly appears, looking as if he were pushed out onto the stage unwillingly.

As he turns to face the audience, his cheeks are puffed out and he looks as if he was chewing on something.

He gulps down whatever was in his mouth and turns slightly.

"Blast, woman! I was eating!" he hollers.

A tahto made of driftwood sails into the room, smacking the unsuspecting gorilla in the face in response.

"You're lucky I didn't throw the one with the spikes on it, Mister Thornfist!" Lanivara shrieks back.

"...she has a point, Thaldorn," Alarin admits.

Thaldorn whips his head over to Alarin to glare at them.

"You keep your two sovereigns out of this, panda!"

"Anywho!" Alarin cuts in, completely ignoring Thaldorn.

"Thaldorn and I had been telling Lanivara and Kamalei about the Ascension Gala, which we were lucky enough to attend--"

Thaldorn scoffs, completely annoyed.

"We?! WE?!? I was tossed out, remember?!" Thaldorn grumbled loudly.

Alarin sighed.

"Right. I was getting to that--" they tried.

Thaldorn wasn't having it.

"I even tried to sneak my way in and these two blokes managed to see me and threw me back out!" the silverback raged.

Alarin blinks, surprised.

"Hold on... you tried to SNEAK in?!?" Alarin asked, seeking clarification.

Thaldorn nodded, miffed.

"Three times!" Thaldorn continued to rant.

"I was somehow spotted and 'escorted out' each time!"

"Meaning they threw you out." Alarin reiterated.

"Yes!" came Thaldorn's frustrated response.

Alarin grins at the audience.

"And that is exactly why we are here, everyone! Thaldorn is still pretty bent on being able to get into the Ascension Gala this time when it happens--"

"Right!" Thaldorn cuts in.

"I'm coming for you, Mister Door-man!"

The stage plunges into darkness as calligraphic words of gold are brushed before you by an unknown artist.

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*************BIZI-DORN ACQUISITIONS:******************
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***********THE ASCENSION GALA REBELLION***************
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"Hurry it up, Thaldorn!" Bizirik ordered as the stage comes to life.

Bizirik is standing before a closed door within an enormous office. Fastened to the wall to the east is a plaque that reads:

Bizi-Dorn Acquisitions

"Geesh, patience! I'm almost done!" Thaldorn yells back.

Moments later, the door swings open and Thaldorn enters the room.

He is clad in a pristine white three-piece button-down suit, complete with shiny black loafers.

Atop his head is a black top hat that matches his footwear.

He does not look amused.

"...tell me why I have to wear this ridiculous thing again...?" Thaldorn demands in reference to his suit.

Bizirk snorts.

"That is a really nice suit! Your plate armor... now THAT looks ridiculous!" Bizirik quips.

Thaldorn gasped at Bizirik in offense, a hand over his chest.

"...you take that back!" Thaldorn growls.

Bizirik snorts again.

"Make me, big boy," she taunts.

"And to answer your question, we need to wear these suits... it might help us get into the Ascension Gala," the leothin points out.

Thaldorn mutters incoherently.

"I swear, if what's-his-name doesn't let us in this time, I say we clobber him," Thaldorn suggested.

Bizirik laughs.

"I agree. And his name is Sergio. Sergio Drabardi," Bizirik corrected Thaldorn.

"As far as I am concerned, his name is now 'Bloke With The Punchable Face'," Thaldorn shot back.

Bizirik grins smugly.

"I'm honestly surprised no one's tossed him in the Toronada River yet. He has it coming," the leothin responded.

Thaldorn grins and nods.

"That he does! Where the blazes is Syr Kamalei?!" Thaldorn inquired, his eyes searching the area around him.

"Oy! Down hea, bubs!" Kamalei answered.

Thaldorn scans the area for a moment before seeing his mentor glowering at him.

The muscled dwarf is clad in a similar suit, his wild mane of hair pulled back tight and fastened with a sturdy piece of twine.

"Wait, how come da leothin no moa one suit on?!" Kamalei demanded, eyeing Bizirik up and down.

Bizirik scoffs.

"Because Bizirik does not need a bloody suit!" she says simply.

"Neither does Thaldorn," Thaldorn tried.

"Nice try. You're wearing the suit," Bizirik grins at Thaldorn.

"...or I could call your wife in here and see what she thinks--"

"Wear the suit, Thaldorn!" came Lanivara's response from the reception hall of Bizi-Dorn Acquisitions.

"I am wearing the suit, woman! Are you ready yet?!" Thaldorn yells back.

All three dive for cover as a chair soars into the room.

It slams into a nearby wall with a deafening ***CRASH!***

"...I think that's a no," Bizirik remarked as they all stand back up.

"Sometimes I think you rile Lanivara on purpose, Thaldorn."

"Me too!" Kamalei chimes in.

"Yes, I am ready!" Lanivara huffs as she enters, giving Thaldorn the death glare.

"Thaldorn! Lanivara! Kamalei! Where the blazes are you lot?!" Alarin could be heard bellowing.

"And that's our cue. We'll see you at the Ascension Gala, Bizirik!" Lanivara chirps, grabbing both Kamalei and Thaldorn by an arm and half-dragging them from the room.

"Tell your pet to hurry it up, Bizirik!" Thaldorn called behind him, referring to Gurashi.

"We will be there right behind you!" Bizirik promised.

Moments later, Alarin Stormcrow strides into view as Trader Bob's retreat shimmers onto the stage.

Lanivara, Thaldorn, and Kamalei are close behind them.

"I am so excited!" Lanivara practically sings.

"I haven't been to a grand party since we were in Jojobo!"

Alarin laughs.

"Don't get too excited just yet... Sergio may not let you three inside. He was... pretty adamant about it last time," the panda pointed out.

"...he had his stooges throw me out!" Thaldorn bellowed as they neared the entrance.

"Shh. He's right there!" Lanivara cried, clamping a hand over her husband's mouth as Sergio Drabardi watches their approach.

He was already shaking his head.

"No personal denizens are allowed into the Ascension Gala. I am sure you are aware of that!" Sergio says to Alarin.

"We thought that perhaps the rules may have changed--" Alarin began, but Sergio continued shaking his head.

"The rules have not changed. You three will have to leave," Sergio replied, pointing at the two silverbacks and the dwarf.

Under his breath, Sergio remarks, "Especially overly talkative... whatever-you-are."

Just about to leave, Thaldorn spun back around upon hearing Sergio's comment and attempted to rush at him.

Alarin steps into his path, stopping Thaldorn dead in his tracks.

"...now is not the time for this, Thaldorn. Just go. I will meet you three later," Alarin commanded.

Thaldorn fixes Sergio with a nearly lethal glare.

"Go, Thaldorn! It will be all right," Alarin repeated.

Thaldorn allowed his wife to lead him away, Kamalei following the couple as they leave the location.
"...that bloke needs a punch in the face," Thaldorn growls.

Lanivara nods.
#wait 15000
bs improv 14 "Aye... I am usually not one to incite violence--" she began.

Thaldorn gasped in disbelief.

"--you do not count. Husband," Lanivara quips, grinning at Thaldorn.

"...I neva getting married," Kamalei commented, snickering.

Lanivara squints at him.

"...I neva say not'ing!" Kamalei retracted, retreating a few steps.

Lanivara simply stared at him.

"...as I was saying! I am not one to agree with violence, but sometimes someone deserves it," Lanivara concluded as Bizirik and Gurashi pass the trio on the way to Sergio.

"If Bizirik gets in, I'm going to drown that bloke at the door," Thaldorn threatens.

"I come help!" Kamalei agreed.

A few minutes later, Bizirik stomps into the area.

She was mad.

"...that simpleton at the door told me to, and I quote, 'join the other Gala outcasts', then specifically mentioned a gorilla with white hair," Bizirik huffed, outraged as she gives Thaldorn a look of suspicion.

Thaldorn's eyes flashed dangerously.

"What did you do to him, Thaldorn?!" Bizirik pressed.

Thaldorn scoffs.

"Nothing. Yet," Thaldorn replied, glancing in the direction of the Gala hall.

Bizirik peers at him.

"I know that look," Bizirik remarked.

"Me too. You going aftah da bloke, yah?" Kamalei asked Thaldorn.

Thaldorn shakes his head.

"No. We are. Love, I need to use you as bait," Thaldorn responded.

Lanivara peered at him.

"Oi, not THAT kind of bait! You can jump into the panda's inventory, right?" Thaldorn reminded her.

Lanivara nodded, a little uncertainly.

"Yes I can..." she admitted.

"We need you to cause a diversion inside. We can get to the bloke at the door, but a lot of good that will do us. He'll call his stooges to protect him the second we do anything to him."

"I want to help," a familiar voice cuts in.

"Me too!" chimes in another.

"Count me in!" one last voice joins in.

Thaldorn looked over and watched as Marigold, Jorge, and Brycll all enter the location.

"We all got told to go away too," Marigold grumbles.

"You should have bitten him!" Jorge suggested.

Thaldorn blinks in surprise.

"...you three can get back into your pets' inventories, aye?" he asked.

All three nodded in confirmation.

Thaldorn turned to Lanivara.

"The second any of you are noticed, hop out and start running. In different directions. Split them up," he instructed.

Lanivara gives Thaldorn a wide grin.

"So... basically what I did to YOU the day we met!" Lanivara reminisced.

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Thaldorn chuckled.

"Exactly. And this time, there's more than just you!" Thaldorn replied.

Lanivara smiles impishly.

"They're about to hate all four of us," Lanivara quipped, grinning and nodding.

Thaldorn grins and nods.

"While you lot have the guards distracted, Kamalei, Bizirik, and I are going to take that bloke for a little talk. Maybe a swim," Thaldorn muses.

"Mebbe we give um da sky view of da rivah before we t'row him in!" Kamalei joked.

The group laughed.

"All right. Everyone take your positions. Kamalei, Thaldorn, and I will take Sergio for a 'walk' while you lot have the guards busy," Bizirik ordered.

MOMENTS LATER....

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE!!" Lanivara could be heard yelling as the diversion was set.

"Go, go, go!" Bizirik urged as she heads straight for Sergio.

Before Sergio could get a word out, Thaldorn had snatched him with two gigantic hands and soared into the sky.

The poor bloke screamed for dear life as Thaldorn flew in the direction of the Toronada River.

The silverback unceremoniously dumped him onto the sandy shore.

Bizirik and Kamalei were already there, waiting.

"I dare you to repeat what you muttered back there as I was leaving," Thaldorn growled, popping his knuckles, his eyes seemingly burning a hole through Sergio.

"I'm s-sorry! Please don't eat me!" Sergio pleaded.

"...fitty t'ousand gold say T'aldorn eat dis fricka," Kamalei whispered to Bizirik.

Bizirik grins smugly.

"You're on!" Bizirik agreed.

Sergio's mouth drops open in disbelief.

"THE GORILLA IS TRYING TO EAT ME!!" he screams.

Thaldorn's palm hits his head with a resounding *smack!*

"...that's it!" Thaldorn snarled, taking to the skies with Sergio in tow again.

Alarin suddenly bursts into the location, breathing heavily.

"W-where is T-thaldorn?!" Alarin heaved as they try to catch their breath.

Bizirik and Kamalei point upwards.

Alarin gapes in bewilderment as they look into the sky.

Their voice resounding like an angelic choir in blessed song, the voice of Alarin Stormcrow echoes across the land, "THALDORN! DROP HIM!"

"I hope you realise what you just asked my husband to do, Sir Big Bear," Lanivara pointed out as she, Marigold, Jorge, and Brycll enter.

Alarin's paw hit their forhead with a resounding *smack*!

Their voice resounding like an angelic choir in blessed song, the voice of Alarin Stormcrow echoes across the land, "NO! Thaldorn, do NOT drop--"

"AAAAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!" Sergio could be heard screaming as he rapidly comes into view from above.

Everyone watches as Sergio lands in the Toronada River with a loud ****SPLASH!****

"...and that's how we will now not be allowed anywhere near Trade Bob's summer retreat," Thaldorn explained as he and Alarin materialise on the stage, the scene returning to the present day.

"...I am not going to lie, if you lot really did do that to Sergio, I would laugh. Hard," Alarin admitted.

"Wait. Does that mean we can do it?!" Thaldorn demanded, perking up.

"I didn't say that..." Alarin said innocently.

"...so we can't do it?!" Thaldorn pressed.

"...I didn't say that either," Alarin pointed out as they walk off the stage.

"Wait, where are you going?! Panda! PANDA! DAMMIT, ANSWER ME!!" Thaldorn cried out as he too leaves the stage, the curtains drawing to a close.